They Live Behind My Ears
by Kinkajouu
Summary: Kai is a psychopathic schizophrenic with tiny friends that live behind his ears, who tell him to do bad things. WARNINGS: Swearing, murders, character deaths and dark humour. Might also contain some yaoi, too...
1. Ronnie And Roxy

- Kai is a psychopathic schizophrenic with tiny friends that live behind his ears, who tell him to do bad things.

- WARNINGS IN GENERAL: Swearing, character deaths (though, they won't be as upsetting at my other story, 'Fairytales'…), and lots of swearing in humour at the deaths…

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Er… Swearing, and a particularly violent murder involving Kai and a baseball bat…

- Disclaimer: Because I am a lazy tart, I shall only say this once throughout the entire story. I do not own Beyblade, any characters (other than Ronnie and Roxy), and nothing else Beyblade-related.

- A/N: You know what… This idea also came up in a conversation between me and MarianQ… That girl has bad influences on me! On the other hand, the amount of stories I've written are going up… XD Enjoy!

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**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter One: Ronnie And Roxy**

Muttering to himself, Kai Hiwatari was walking down a deserted high street in Russia, his eyes darting back and forth at the strangers staring at him. It was raining, and many people were taking shelter to keep dry. Not Kai. Kai was in need of a fix, and not one that you might be thinking of.

"Just pick a randomer," whispered a tiny little woman from behind Kai's right ear.

"He can't do that… It's better to pick someone who he's talked to or knows… Makes it easier to get to them," a man, just as tiny, argued from behind Kai's left ear.

Kai's brow knitted together in a frown, as he had to listen to them bicker. Roxy (the woman behind his right ear) and Ronnie (the man behind his left ear) were continuously bickering as to who he should kill next. That was his fix. He needed to kill, and that was why he was roaming the rain-pounded streets. Ronnie and Roxy were his 'friends', his 'companions', his 'partners in crime', if you like. They lived behind his ears, and it was only Kai who could see or hear them.

"Will you two shut the fuck up?!" Kai snapped, startling a passing woman, who quickly scurried off.

"Sorry, Kai," Ronnie apologised.

"Hey, look at that… A commotion that isn't actually involving us," Roxy said, pointing to an argument between a man and a woman outside a little café.

Kai turned to where Roxy was pointing, and watched with narrowed eyes as the man tried to pull the woman away from the café. She was protesting, and shouting all sorts of obscenities at him. As Kai crossed the road to confront the man, Roxy giggled with evil glee.

"Hee hee, Kai's going to have his fix!" Roxy cackled.

"But we don't even know him!" Ronnie said.

"Yeah, and? We didn't know the last three, either," Roxy replied.

"I give up… You just go on ahead, Kai. Murder whoever the fuck you want. Listen all you want to bimbo over there," Ronnie sighed.

"Who are you calling a bimbo, you shortarse?!" Roxy retorted.

"You're just as small, you smelly old trout!"

"Why you-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Kai whispered.

Kai stepped onto the pavement, and walked over to the rowing couple. As he neared them, he could hear clearly that the man was drunk. He was so drunk, Kai could smell it. The woman was trying to push the drunkard away, and he was trying to pull her with him. When Kai was about a metre away from them, he understood that the drunkard was trying to get her to go with him, and she clearly didn't want to.

"C'mon, love… I won't treat ya wrong… I'll give you a good boning…" the man slurred.

"Get off of me, you drunk prick!" the woman squealed, trying, and failing, to wrench her arm out of his grasp.

Kai raised his eyebrows as he noticed that none of the fellow bystanders were trying to help her. He stepped forward.

"I think you should back off, mate," Kai said calmly to the drunkard, putting his own hand on the drunkard's arm.

"I ain't your mate, _mate_. I'm just tryna get laid, y'know what I mean?"

"Go and hire a prostitute, then. There's plenty down the next street," Kai replied, pulling the man's hand off the woman.

The drunkard spat at Kai's feet, but began to stagger off, anyway. Kai turned to look at the woman, who seemed quite shaken, but relieved and thankful.

"Thank you so much," she said.

"No problem," Kai replied, mustering up a smile. She'd make a pretty victim…

"Kai, let's get that pissed bloke. He'll be an easy target!" Roxy said, her eyes on the retreating man.

Kai bid the woman goodbye, and began walking down the street, the same way as the drunk man. As Kai turned into the next street, he saw the man not too far away, staggering about and shouting insults at various inanimate objects.

Kai sighed as he followed the man at a distance, but just enough to keep him in his sights. He realised that it would be a while before he would get a chance to harm the man, but also knew that Roxy was right. The man was an easy target.

* * *

About two hours, many arguments and lots of falling over (the drunk man was having issues walking, it seemed) later, Kai was stood outside the end house of a terrace. Kai put his hood up, and stood just behind the front hedge, and watched as the living room light flicked on, and the drunk man collapsing in the middle of the room.

Thinking that this was a good time as ever, Kai made his way up the path and pushed the unlatched door open. The man, in his rat-arsed state, had forgotten to shut it properly. As Kai stepped into the house, he spotted a baseball bat leaning against the doorframe of the living room.

Kai took out some gloves in his pocket, and popped them on. Then, soundlessly, he picked up the baseball bat, and made his way into the living room. The man was passed out on the floor, completely comatose. Kai raised the bat as he neared the man, and just as he was about to swing the bat down, the man rolled over, and his eyes shot open.

"Wha' the fuck you think you doin'?" he shouted.

Kai knew that if the man made too much noise, he would attract attention, and so Kai brought the bat down quickly, hitting the man's face directly. He heard the man's nose break, and watched as the man rolled over, spitting a few teeth out.

Lifting the bat up again, Kai repeated his actions, again, and again, and again, hitting various body parts. Kai didn't stop until the man stopped moving, and even then, Kai hit him with the bat again. Just once more, for good measure.

"Yes!" Roxy squealed with utter joy. "Another one bites the dust!"

"Next time, can you kill someone we _know_. It'll be more fun," Ronnie said, folding his arms, and trying to look annoyed, but actually very pleased of the bloody mess Kai had created.

Kai bent down, and listened for any breathing, and checked for a pulse. Completely satisfied that the man was dead, Kai dropped the bat, and left the house, not completely sure of what he was doing or where he was going.

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A/N: How was that for a first chapter?? The next chapter will involve a dead Grandfather… He'll already be dead. He just be hanging around… Teehee.

I'm really bloody cold. My thighs feel like jelly.

My rabbit is randomly eating paper. Is that normal?

I must go and help my Dad make food, now. Leave reviews with how you think this may turn out :D


	2. Good Morning, Grandfather

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: NAKED MASTURBATING KAI, and Voltaire makes an appearance.

- A/N: MarianQ kindly reminded me how this story came about… It involved a conversation about one of her stories, and then I said that Kai was probably talking to himself, or his little friends that live behind his ears… That's vaguely what happened, anyway XD

I meant to update this sooner. But things have happened that have prevented me from writing anything.

Enjoy!

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**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Two: Good Morning, Grandfather**

With a jolt, Kai sat upright and looked around the room he was in, bleary-eyed. He recognised the blue spinning top sat on the dresser, and he definitely recognised the picture of a younger him, and a redheaded boy, both aged about eight. This had to mean he was in his own bedroom, in his own flat.

Kai rubbed his head as he got off the bed and opened the curtains. It was a positively crap day. It looked windy, cold and was snowing. Fantastic. That meant he'd have a harder time finding another victim, since everyone would be taking shelter from the shit weather.

"Well, good morning to you, too, Kaisy," Roxy said from behind Kai's ear, and trying to stifle a yawn.

Kai grunted, and took a look at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit on legs. He had big bags under his eyes, and had blood all over his shirt and jeans. It was even caked under his fingernails. Shuddering at his own reflection, and how much of a murderer he looked like, Kai began stripping. He took his shirt and jeans off, and threw them into a corner of the room on top of a bin bag, which was full of other clothes covered in blood that he needed to burn.

"I swear you're getting sexier," Roxy flirted into Kai's ear.

"Shut up," Kai mumbled back at her, as he stepped into his bathroom, and began to run a shower.

Kai leaned against the sink, and watched the water run for a moment. He couldn't for the life of him remember how he'd gotten back home. He remembered running from the drunk man's house, and then the next thing he knew, it was today, and he was sprawled out on his bed.

Scratching his head, and deciding not to think about how he Hell he'd gotten home too much, Kai stepped towards the shower, and stuck his hand under the water. He winced slightly as he felt that it was scalding hot, just how he liked it. Kai peeled off his boxers, and scowled as Roxy giggled.

"Stop staring at me," Kai told her as he stepped into the shower.

"I can't help it… I'm a woman, no matter how tiny I am. I have my needs," Roxy replied, giggling some more.

Kai sighed, and lifted his head up so the spray was hitting directly in the face. Kai tried to block all thoughts of anything and everything from his mind, but there was one that just wouldn't go away.

'_I really need a wank_.'

Kai listened out for Roxy talking to him, and saw that she'd gone back into hiding in his hair, or wherever she hid these days. Feeling it was safe enough, Kai let his hand drift down his body to his cock. He bit his lip and he slowly started stroking himself, all the time keeping an ear out for Roxy.

Faster and faster he stroked, until he reached his climax, and came over his hand. The water quickly washed all traces of his orgasm away, and Kai opened his violet eyes, relief in his eyes. He was so sexually frustrated, that it was ridiculous, and he had to masturbate at least twice a day.

Kai quickly washed himself, and scrubbed the blood from under his nails. Then, when he was sure that he was blood-free, he turned the shower off, and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stepped out of the shower, and pattered into his tiny kitchen, leaving a trail of wet footprints across the floor.

"I suggest cereal," Ronnie said from behind Kai's left ear.

"You're normally around earlier than this," Kai muttered back, following Ronnie's suggestion and making himself some cereal.

"Yeah, I couldn't be bothered to emerge early, this morning. Last night's battering left me exhausted."

"Left you exhausted? You weren't the one beating that bloke a pulp with a baseball bat. I was."

Ronnie laughed, which made Roxy come out of her hidey-hole.

"What are you two ranting on about?" she asked.

"Nothing that concerns you," Ronnie replied.

"How rude. I think I should be included in your conversations since-"

"Oh, shut up, you silly witch."

"How very dare you!"

"Will you two _please_ be quiet?" Kai said exasperatedly. "Jesus, I'm sick to death of your stupid arguments."

"He started it," Roxy pouted.

"I don't who started it. I'm finishing it," Kai said.

"Hey, don't you think we should have a chat with your Grandfather, Kai? We haven't seen him for a couple of days," Ronnie asked.

Kai nodded, and walked out into the hallway, his cereal still in his hand. He approached the cupboard door, and braced himself for a nasty smell as he opened the door.

"Good morning, Grandfather."

Kai sat on the floor, and spooned some more cereal into his mouth. He looked up at Voltaire, who was hanging by his tie from a rail up in the cupboard, clearly dead. He was also starting to smell a bit ripe, as he'd been killed (poisoned) by Kai a week and half earlier.

Kai snorted as he noticed that Voltaire still had the same gormless look on his face as he did when he died from the poison. Kai had thought that his face would've dropped and he's stopped looking so stupid, but apparently not. At least Kai could have a laugh every time he opened this cupboard - at least until Voltaire started rotting away.

"So, who shall we get next?" Kai asked the two little people sat next to his ears.

"I bet you could get that nice lady from yesterday. Y'know, the one the drunk man was harassing?" Roxy suggested. "She seemed to really like you, y'know…"

"Don't be stupid," Kai mumbled.

"I still think that we should 'get', as Kai put it, someone we actually know, and dislike," Ronnie said.

"Like who?" Kai asked.

"Boris. No one can stand him," Ronnie replied.

Kai looked thoughtfully up at Voltaire, not that the dead old man could help any. He wasn't very talkative these days… Kai stood up, and closed the cupboard door, and went back into the kitchen. He shoved his empty bowl into the sink where most of his plates, bowls and cutlery lay, all absolutely filthy. Kai looked into the crammed sink, and vowed to wash everything when he got back from a 'visit' with Boris.

"Boris it is," Kai muttered, grabbing his keys and coat, and walking out of the flat.

Roxy and Ronnie practically had a party on Kai's shoulders as he walked down the stairs and out onto the cold street.

"How are you going to kill him?" Ronnie asked excitedly.

"I don't know… But I want to involve fire in some way…" Kai mumbled, keeping his head low.

"YAY! FIRE!" Roxy shouted.

Kai smirked as he walked down the street, and began thinking about the best way to get rid of Boris, and where the Hell he would find him.

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A/N: I was going to have Kai ordering pizza in this chapter. But then I thought, 'who eats pizza at 9 in the morning?!' lol.

I'd planned for Voltaire to be hanging around in Kai's cupboard, anyway, but Voltaire being dead reflects what I want of my own Grandfather. He's a bastard and deserves to die.

I won't go into my complicated family matters, lol. Reviews?


	3. Burn, Baby, Burn!

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Kai shoves a metal bar where metal bars aren't supposed to be shoved, swearing, a bit of Kai/Boris which is for Kai's benefit only, and the very nasty murder of Boris Balcov.

- A/N: I'm giggling, because Microsoft Word apparently doesn't recognise 'Balcov', so I right clicked, and it came up with 'BARCO'. What the Hell is a 'BARCO'?! Lmfao. Enjoy.

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**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Three: Burn, Baby, Burn!**

Kai was scuttling down an extremely cold street, following some tall bloke. Kai mentally cursed himself for not putting more layers on, and he could swear that it was getting colder.

The tall bloke he was following, he believed to be Boris. He was sure it was Boris. The man was tall enough to be Boris, and he had the same, nasty, perverted voice as Boris. Kai was still unsure, though, as the eye colour was different, and this man's hair was a normal brown colour. Still, he was _sure_ it was Boris.

Kai continued to follow the man down the street when the potential-Boris began fiddling with a lock on a bicycle. Kai raised his eyebrow as the man hopped onto his bike, and rode away.

Looking around, Kai spotted a bicycle leant up against a wall, with no lock holding it into place. He took a look around, before casually walking up the bike, and took it from where it was propped up. As he cycled away after the man-believed-to-be-Boris, he could hear some woman shrieking behind him that someone had stolen her bike. He chuckled evilly.

Some ten minutes later, Kai was still riding the bloody bike and following his target. He was right about it getting colder, as it had started to snow. Kai cursed at everything and everyone and especially at the fact that he was bloody cold. He didn't even know where the Hell he was. All he knew is that they were approaching the edge of town, because he could see a lot of trees. A lot of trees meant the edge of town. You didn't stumble across a lot of trees in the middle of town very often.

Kai continued to cycle after someone who was hopefully Boris, right through a load of trees and towards a little brown cabin in the distance. It had amazed Kai that the man-who-was-hopefully-Boris hadn't noticed he was being followed. Maybe he had gotten stupid in his old age?

The man-who-was-hopefully Boris got off his bicycle, and leant it up against the wall of the cabin. Kai slowed down, and waited for the bloke to go inside, so he could sneak up and have the upper hand. But the man didn't go inside. He turned around and looked straight at Kai. Kai raised an eyebrow, and realised that the man had known he was being followed all along, but Kai didn't know why the man hadn't turned around sooner.

"Yes, Kai. I was aware you were following me," Boris, yes, it really was Boris, said.

Boris pulled off the mass of brown hair perched on his head to reveal his purple-going-grey hair. Kai dumped the bike on the ground, and walked up to Boris.

"You have different coloured eyes," Kai said.

"It's called contact lenses. Surely you must know that," Boris replied, taking out his contacts to reveal his own coloured eyes.

Kai raised his eyebrow further, and started to think about how he could get Boris tied up and under his control quickly. It was not an easy thing to do, and if Kai messed up, he'd be in trouble.

Boris smirked, and as he looked Kai up and down, an idea struck Kai. If he played along to Boris' pervertedness, he may get Boris in a state of weakness, and then gain the opportunity to chain him to something. How kinky.

Kai smirked back, and opened his arms.

"What do you think, then? Since you're eyeing me up so openly, I might as well ask what you make of me."

"Very nice," Boris replied in an approving tone.

Boris beckoned for Kai to follow him into the cabin, and Kai's smirk grew ever wider. Kai shut and locked the door behind him, and he turned to see Boris stood right in front of him. Boris trailed a finger down Kai's cheek, before leaning down and planting little kisses on Kai's freezing lips. Kai didn't kiss back, but let Boris go about his crap kissing business. Luckily, Boris had his eyes closed, so Kai was able to scan the room for something and somewhere that he could tie Boris.

He spotted a wooden pillar in the middle of the room, and thought would do nicely. As for something to tie Boris _with_… Kai's eyes scanned the room once more, and saw a tie thrown onto a sofa right next to the pillar. Kai inwardly smirked, and he began to push Boris back, but not breaking their contact.

Boris didn't like being dominated like this, but went along with it. If it meant he got to fuck, he'd go along with anything. Just as they reached the sofa, Kai groped around for the tie, and feeling it in his grasp, he pushed Boris right back against the pillar, and quickly bound his hands around it.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Boris hissed.

"What, you honestly think I followed you all the way up here to fuck you? Get real," Kai said, stepping back and smirking. Now that he had the upper hand, he was going to have a lot of fun.

Kai walked into the kitchen, ignoring the insults and protests coming from Boris' mouth. As Kai was in killer mode, he really didn't care what Boris had to say much. Opening one of the drawers, he found a nice, sharp carving knife. Kai ran the blade over one of his fingers, but not hard enough to cut the skin. He took it back into the main room, where Boris was still cursing his ugly little head off. Leaning near the door was a round metal bar. It wasn't very thick, but looked hard enough to do some damage.

Kai picked the bar up, and walked back over to Boris, who was still uttering every nasty word he knew. Boris looked at Kai approaching him with the knife and bar, but even that didn't stop him from swearing. Getting fed up with the ranting, Kai swung the bar, and it made contact with the side of Boris' head. Boris stopped ranting immediately, and his eyes closed as he hissed at the pain. With stars in his eyes, he didn't notice Kai approach him with the knife, but noticed when he felt the sharp metal being traced down his cheek, slicing the skin open, and making blood dribble down his face.

Smirking sadistically, Kai trailed the knife down Boris' body, again not hard enough to cut. Boris opened his eyes and watched with apprehension. Kai began to fumble with Boris' trousers, and Boris, fearing the worst, began to kick his legs.

"You really don't want to be doing that," Kai warned him.

Boris took no notice, and continued to kick his legs. Kai sighed impatiently, and brought the knife down into Boris' left thigh. He laughed as Boris let out a high pitched scream, and stopped thrashing about at once.

"That's better," Kai said, beginning to undo Boris' trousers again now that his legs were still.

"W-what are you g-going to d-do to me?" Boris stammered, watching helplessly as Kai removed his (Boris') shoes and trousers.

Kai didn't reply, but just stood back and looked at the pathetic being Boris really was. He looked down at the metal bar that he'd placed on the sofa for the time being, and thought of a really good idea of how to use it. Approaching Boris again, he literally ripped the older man's tighty whitey's off, and laughed at the pitifully-sized manhood he had.

Boris snarled, and began to kick at Kai with his right leg. Kai rolled his eyes, and picked up the knife again. This didn't stop Boris from kicking, and you really would've thought it would've done. So, Kai brought the knife down into Boris' right thigh, making him scream out in pain again.

Forcefully wrenching Boris' legs apart, Kai grabbed a hold of the bar, and brought it to rest against Boris' anus. Boris looked down at Kai with fear.

"Please, Kai, don't-"

Boris' sentence was cut short when Kai thrust the bar up into Boris, ripping the flesh inside him, and making him scream louder than he'd ever screamed before. Kai shoved the bar up some more, until he was sure it wouldn't fall out, and picked the knife up again.

Boris was panting, sweating, and groaning, and shit-scared of what Kai was going to do next. Kai eyed up the man, and trailed the knife down his chest. He let it rest at the base of Boris' tiny cock, and smirked into the terrified face.

"Oh, God, Kai. Please don't," Boris pleaded, but to no avail.

Kai grabbed Boris' manhood, and pulled it out so it was straight. Then, in one swift movement, he brought the knife down. Boris was squirming around, screaming and shrieking, and all Kai could do was rub it in his face. Quite literally. He held up the now detached penis, and waved it in front of Boris' face, before shoving it head-first into Boris' open mouth, making him gag and choke. He tried to spit it out, but Kai just pushed it further in.

Boris was slowly turning purple from having his own cock being shoved down his throat, and being shoved down his throat it was. Kai even had his hand in Boris' mouth, as the penis was so far down Boris' throat. Kai retracted his hand, and watched as Boris tried to puke up his own cock. It didn't work, and Boris was soon twitching, just trying to get air. Kai thought he might as well just put the man out of his misery, and plunged the craving knife right into Boris' chest, making blood spurt out all over Kai's chest.

"You have to make things messy, don't you?" Ronnie asked.

"Yeah…" Kai replied, moving back from his latest victim. "You two have been strangely quiet."

"We know you don't like being disturbed when you're a killing," Roxy cackled.

Kai rolled his eyes, and took a look around the cabin.

"I need matches…" he mumbled.

"To set fire to the place?" Ronnie asked.

"Yeah…" Kai replied, spotting some next to the fireplace.

Kai picked up the matches, and struck one up. He placed it onto the couch, which took a while to catch fire, but when it did, the whole thing was in flames in seconds. Kai then spotted a pile of cloths in the corner of the room, and threw a lit match into them, too, which caught fire immediately.

Looking around as the whole cabin began to go up in flames, Kai felt he'd outdone himself this time. He chuckled to himself as he unlocked the front door, and left the building. Walking back over to the deserted bicycle, Kai took one look back at the burning building.

"Burn, baby, burn!" Roxy shouted, before erupting into laughter.

Kai snorted, and hopped onto the bike, before riding back through the woods, and back to his apartment, where he acted like nothing had happened.

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A/N: There's nothing quite like choking to death on your own penis… Seriously, I've written some gruesome things… But that scene was to the extreme. And how it made me LAUGH. God, I'm so twisted… XD

Anyhoo… Review?


	4. Willy Wanging

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Kai throws a penis out of his window… He has an obsession with penises… Sort of.

- A/N: I'm still giggling at the very hilarious murder of Boris last chapter… It was disgusting and sick… But in a funny way XD I love it…

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**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Four: Willy Wanging**

Sipping a cup of black coffee, Kai was sat on his couch, just staring out of the window at the world below. None of the people walking down on the street were aware that a murderer was watching them, and they didn't need to know, either.

Kai sighed, and took another gulp of his coffee. He was unbearably bored, but didn't have the energy to go out and hunt someone down. Instead, he was going to sit in his lounge, and keep the news channel on to see if anyone had found Boris' cremated body yet. So far, they hadn't.

"I'm booooooored," Roxy whined.

"So am I," Ronnie added.

"Yeah, well, you two aren't the only ones. At least you can go and pick at my ear wax, or do whatever you tiny people do," Kai muttered back to the two whinging ear-inhabitants.

"We tell you to do bad things. Soooo, let's do something bad," Ronnie said, an evil grin spreading across his face.

"Can we involve Voltaire?" Roxy asked.

"If you really want to involve him, you can," Kai replied. "I'm going to have to get rid of him, soon. He really is starting to stink."

"Air freshener, dude… Air freshener," Ronnie suggested, patting Kai's shoulder.

"I suggest you cut of his penis, and throw it out of the window!" Roxy cackled, rolling around laughing.

Kai raised his eyebrows, but wandered into the kitchen to find a knife, anyway. He didn't know why he bothered to look through the drawers, as he still hadn't bothered to clean anything. Shoving his hand into the mass of cutlery and dishes, he felt around until he felt something very sharp cut into his hand. Grabbing the blade, Kai pulled the knife out, and walked over to the cupboard.

He couldn't help but recoil slightly as he opened the door. The stench radiating from Voltaire was disgusting. Not even air freshener could cure that. Kai yanked down Voltaire's trousers and underwear, and nearly puked when he saw the shrivelled state the dead man's manhood was in. Kai tried to ignore the bubbling in his stomach, and cut the cock of in one swift movement. He quickly shut the cupboard door again; the smell was getting too bad even for him.

"Hahahahaha, we're going willy wanging…" Roxy giggled to herself.

Kai smirked as he opened his lounge window, and tried to find a target. He spotted a dude with bright red hair, that almost looked familiar. Narrowing his eyes slightly, Kai raised the shrunken penis and took aim. Just as the redhead was about to walk directly under the window, Kai lobbed it down, and had to launch himself back into the room laughing as he saw it make direct contact with the person's head.

Kai was rolling around on the floor laughing, and Ronnie and Roxy were rolling around on Kai's shoulders laughing. It was too funny. Kai laughed even harder when he started to hear scream and shrieks from the street below.

"What if people realise it was you who threw it, though?" Ronnie asked seriously, wiping a tear from his eye.

Kai stopped laughing, and thought to himself for a moment before answering.

"I'll just tell them it was fake. Or that I didn't do it. Hey, I'm Kai Hiwatari, anyone will believe anything I say…"

Kai began laughing again, and so did Ronnie. After a while, when it started to hurt too much to laugh anymore, Kai sat up and cleared his throat.

"So… I got Boris… Who could I get next?"

"Someone who's always pissed you off," Roxy suggested.

"I've killed the two people who always pissed me off. My Grandfather and Boris… Who else could have possibly pissed me off?" Kai replied, thinking.

"Tyson," Ronnie said simply.

"And his bitch," Roxy added.

"You mean Hilary?" Kai said.

"Yeah, her."

"They have a son now, y'know," Kai mumbled.

"Kill him, too," Roxy shrugged.

Kai didn't reply, but just sat there thinking. Roxy and Ronnie could practically hear the cogs working in his brain. He'd be figuring everything out before he even agreed to kill them.

"I won't kill Makoto…" Kai decided.

"Who?" Roxy asked.

"Their kid. I won't kill him. But Hilary and Tyson are pretty much gone. I'll see if Hilary still has the hots for me first… If she does some things I want done… I'll spare her, too."

"That's being very generous," Ronnie said.

"I know… I can be sometimes, y'know."

Ronnie snickered, and Roxy absent-mindedly twirled her hair through her fingers. She was not as such impressed that there were two potential survivors from Kai's next killing.

"I'll go out and book the plane ticket after I've phoned Tyson…" Kai said.

Rummaging through a drawer of the little table in the hall, Kai found his contact book. The contact book that had originally been plain blue, until everyone had signed their names on it. Tala had even drawn his own face on it. Flipping through a few pages, Kai didn't stop until he found the first page for 'G'. Scanning the page, he spotted the number for the person he'd written as 'Tyson 'Twat' Granger'.

Kai picked up the phone, and dialled Tyson's home number, making sure that he had the country code right, and hoping to God that the call would be short. After a while, the phone on the other end was picked up.

"Heggo?" a little voice said on the other end.

Great. The kid had answered.

"Er, hi," Kai answered nervously. "Is, erm, Tyson there."

"Tyzon'z my Daddy, y'know. He'z World Chanpinon."

A vein twitched in Kai's forehead. So Tyson had been boasting to his son, and Kai could clearly tell that the kid thought that he had the best Dad in the world.

"Erm, yeah. Can you put him on the phone, for me, please?"

"Okies," the little voice on the other end of the line answered. "DAAAADDDDDYYY!! THERE'Z SUMUN ON THE TELEPONE FOR YOUUUU!"

Kai winced and held the phone away from his ear about a foot as he heard the little voice bellow to Tyson. When everything went quiet, Kai gingerly put the phone back to his ear, preparing himself to yank it away again if the kid started shouting.

"Hello?" Tyson's voice appeared on the other end of the line.

"Hi, Tyson, it's me," Kai said, secretly thankful that the little shit had buggered off.

"KAI?!" Tyson yelled, making Kai move the phone away from his ear again. "Dude, it's been too long! How are you? What are you up t-"

"Tyson, I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days. I still need to book my flight ticket, but I'll just flash money at them, and they'll give me a seat. So I'll need a place to stay, if that's alright?"

"Whoa, hold on dude. You just phone up out of the blue after God knows how many years, telling me you're going to be visiting, and just expect me to let you stay here?"

"Yep."

"Oh… OK. We'll see you in a few days, then."

Kai smirked as he put the phone down. That was easier than he thought it would be. After having to talk to the kid, though, he was having seconds thoughts about sparing him when he killed Tyson.

"Sooo, it's all steam ahead. Are you going out to book the ticket, now?" Ronnie asked.

"Not yet," Kai replied, going into the kitchen, and picking up a flowery apron. "I really need to wash all these dishes."

* * *

A/N: I always get confused… Is Tyson's son called 'Makoto' or 'Matoko'?? I always get the bloody 'k' and the 't' mixed up XD

This chapter was a filler chapter, really… Nothing very exciting was meant to happen… Kai was just going to phone Tyson to tell him he was visiting, and he was just going to throw Voltaire's penis at someone. That's all I'd planned for it XD

Review? PWEASE?


	5. Mashed Potato

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: No murder in this one… But Kai does scare Makoto into running away to Max's house…

- A/N: I'm having to re-read the last chapter. It's been a couple of weeks since I wrote a chapter for this story, so I'm a bit lost as to where I've gotten up to. I do have this entire story planned down on paper (better than planning it on the computer, as computers have a tendency to DIE, and lose everything you have on there…), but my notes don't actually give away anything… And as for Makoto running away to Max's house… Yes, he is only about 3 or 4 years old in this story… But, Max's house isn't that far away, really… Enjoy XP

* * *

**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Five: Mashed Potato**

Kai frowned as a particularly fat woman barged past him. He felt like yelling abuse, but then that would cause a scene, and he'd probably end up killing everyone in the vicinity. In all honesty, he'd forgotten this airport was so damn busy. Kai tutted as yet another person barged past him, clearly late for their flight. All he could do was hope that they missed it.

"Hey! Kai! Over here, dude!"

Kai looked over in the direction that someone was calling him, and saw Tyson waving. Next to him stood Hilary, holding Makoto. They were both waving, too. Kai scowled as he noticed that Makoto looked _exactly_ like his Father, and was now considering killing him, too, just because he looked too much like Tyson to be allowed to live.

Kai put on a very fake smile, and walked over to them. Tyson gave him a hug which he didn't return, and Hilary just smiled at him. Kai looked at the brat Hilary was holding, and noticed that he really was very much like his Father.

"Makoto, this is Kai. One of our oldest friends. He'll be staying for a while," Hilary told Makoto, who just continued to stare at Kai whilst sucking his thumb.

Kai winced when Hilary said the word 'friend', but continued to smile at them. Tyson threw his arm around Kai's shoulders, and led him out of the airport.

"Listen, Tyson. I need to go to a shop for a minute. I know where the dojo is, so I'll make my own way there once I've finished," Kai said, as Tyson tried to push him into a taxi.

"Well, we can come with you," Tyson said cheerily, still trying to push Kai into the taxi.

"No, it's OK. I need to pick up some important things," Kai replied.

"What sort of important things?" Tyson asked, giving up trying to push Kai into the taxi.

"Didn't you hear curiosity killed the cat?" Kai smirked. "I'll be back soon."

Tyson and Hilary frowned as they watched Kai get into another waiting taxi, and be driven off in it. Makoto waved him off, but still sucked his thumb.

"Kai's acting a bit weird, isn't he?" Hilary mentioned as they got into their taxi.

"He's always acted weird…. But yeah, you are right. Something's not right," Tyson agreed.

In Kai's taxi, Kai himself scowled at the nosiness of Tyson. He flipped open his phone, and dialled his contact's number.

"I'm coming to pick it up now," was all Kai said when the man at the other end picked up the phone. Once Kai had said his piece, he ended the call, and smirked.

* * *

Dinner at the Granger's was a noisy affair. Makoto was screaming something about mashed potato, Tyson was boasting about all his damn trophies, Hilary was trying to reason with Makoto about carrots, and if Grandpa Granger patted Kai's head one more time, Kai thought he was going to kill him.

Kai officially decided that he never wanted to eat here again.

Well, he wouldn't, anyway. Considering Tyson and possibly Hilary would be dead before the night was over.

Kai had got the problem of Grandpa Granger being around. Kai had forgotten about him. To be honest, Kai thought that Grandpa Granger would've been dead by now. Clearly not, though. It meant that he had to rethink his plan.

"More mashed potato, Kai?" Hilary asked, shoving a bowl of it under his nose.

Kai scowled and politely declined, but as soon as the words 'mashed' and 'potato' were mentioned, Makoto had begun his screaming again.

"I WANNA MASH POTATO!"

"No, Makoto, you've had three helpings of it already, and-"

"BUT I WANNA MORE MASH POTATO!"

Kai winced again as Makoto shouted right into his ear. He was starting to think that it would be a very good idea to kill the little beast. Hilary began to try and reason with Makoto again, but soon gave up, and gave him the entire bowl of mashed potato, just to keep him happy.

Once they'd finished dinner, they continued to sit around the table, reminiscing of the old days. To Kai, there was nothing more mundane than remembering all the times that Tyson had beaten him and various other people in Beyblade battles.

After half an hour or so of Kai wanting to slit his wrists to Tyson's babble, Hilary decided they should call it a night. She was going to take Makoto to bed, and then clean the dishes, leaving Kai and Tyson to talk some more. Or, that was her plan.

"BUUUUT I WANNA KAI READ ME A STOOOOREEEE!"

Kai raised his eyebrows when Makoto screamed again. Hilary sighed and looked at Kai pleadingly.

"Sorry, Kai, but could you?"

Kai also sighed, but nodded. He figured this would tie in quite well with his plan. He could take the kid to bed, and scare him so much that the kid would run away. That just left him with the problem of Grandpa Granger, but Kai thought he had a plan for that, too.

Kai picked up Makoto, who bopped Kai over the head with his soft Tyson plushie. Kai frowned, but said nothing. Once they were out of the small kitchen, Kai closed the door behind them, and began walking slowly towards Makoto's room.

"Did you know, Makoto, that I have little people who live behind my ears?" Kai said, with the air of one making normal conversation.

"Little peoples?" Makoto repeated, tilting his head.

"Yeah," Kai nodded, and put Makoto down in from of his bedroom door, "and they don't like you Makoto. They say you're too loud, and look too much like your Daddy."

"They don't like me?" Makoto repeated again, tears welling up in his eyes.

"No, they don't," Kai said, staring in the scariest way he could, which was actually quite scary. "In fact, they're telling me now that when you're asleep in your bed, that they're going to come out and eat you, until there's nothing left."

Tears began pouring down Makoto's face, and Kai suddenly felt a little twinge of badness. But just a little.

"What can I do to make them like me?" Makoto asked.

"Run, Makoto. Run away from this house. Go somewhere else," Kai replied, realising that he sounded very much like that lion from The Lion King… Ah, what was his name…?!

"Awright… I'll go to Uncle Max's house…"

Makoto turned away from Kai, and ran towards the gate of the dojo. Kai watched as he slipped through the cat-flap in the wooden door. Since when did Tyson have cats? And what was that damn lion's name?! Kai grinned once Makoto was out of sight, and went back to the kitchen. He noticed that Grandpa Granger had disappeared, along with Tyson.

"Where's Grandpa?" Kai asked Hilary, who was washing the dishes.

"He's gone to bed," Hilary replied, not looking up from her pile of dishes.

"OK, I'll go and- SCAR!" Kai exclaimed, remembering the name of the lion.

"'Scar'?" Hilary repeated, looking round at Kai in confusion.

"Oh, nothing. I was just trying to remember the name of that lion from the Lion King," Kai said. "I was telling Makoto the story of Simba, and I couldn't remember his Uncle's name."

Hilary made an 'oh' face, and nodded, before turning back to her dishes. Kai left the kitchen again, and went to Grandpa Granger's room. The old man was in there, meditating. Kai knocked on the open door, and Grandpa Granger opened an eye.

"Kai, my home boy, what can I be doing for you?"

"It's Makoto," Kai replied, trying to sound a little panicked. "I didn't want to tell Tyson and Hilary, because they'd kill me, but I went to get Makoto a glass of water when I put him to bed, and when I went back to his room, he was gone!"

"Wha'?!" Grandpa Granger shot up. "Don't you worry, homie, I'll find the little dude before Tyson and Hilary find out he's gone. He probably slipped out through the cat flap. The little dude's always doing it. You sit tight, my boy."

Kai smirked as he watched Grandpa Granger run out through the gates to the dojo, and down the street. It was easier getting rid of him and Makoto than he thought it would be.

Kai returned to his own room, and picked up a gun, wrapped in cloth. It was the same thing that he had gone to collect earlier on that day. Not knowing where Tyson was, and knowing that it would probably be easier to get him after Hilary, Kai made his way back to the kitchen.

* * *

A/N: Dun, dun, DUUUNNN! Kai's forgetfulness of Scar's name was actually my own forgetfulness. I couldn't remember it! And then it came flooding back to me when Kai was in the kitchen, so Kai remembered it, too XD

It's a good job you don't have to wait long for the next chapter XD I know how you all hate endings like this. Makes for an interesting story, though… XD

Reviews? PWEASE? I'll give you mashed potato!


	6. I Want To See Blood!

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Murders! Gruesome murders! Yay! Oh, and Kai tries to have sexytime with Hilary, in front of Tyson, but Hilary is having none of it…

- A/N: There will be no mashed potato in this chapter… Also, we won't be seeing Makoto or Grandpa Granger again in this story. Not at all. Enjoy!

* * *

**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Six: I Want To See Blood!**

As Kai crept up behind Hilary, he slipped the cloth off his gun, and put the gun in his back pocket for safe-keeping. Hilary was humming a tune to herself, and wasn't aware that there was a raving lunatic sneaking up behind her. She only did realise when Kai's arm wrapped around her, above her own arms, pinning them to her body. She tried to struggle and shout, but Kai use the cloth covering the gun as a gag, and he dragged her out of the kitchen, and into the dojo training room.

He spotted a piece of rope tied to the wall, and making a mental note to ask why it was there later, he pushed Hilary over to it and tied her up with it promptly. None of this was done easily, as her legs and arms were flailing everywhere, and she was still trying to shout through her gag.

Hilary looked up into Kai's face, absolutely terrified, and he just smirked at her before putting his finger to his lips, and making a 'shhh' sound. He walked back over to the door, and flicked the light switch, so the lights went off in the dojo. The Grangers clearly weren't big on saving energy, as the lights had been on all night, even though no one was in there.

"Hey, Tyson! You want to come and have a Beybattle?" Kai called out to the rest of the house, knowing that Tyson wouldn't miss an opportunity to battle again.

Kai then picked up one of the wooden swords, and leant against the wall by the door, waiting for Tyson to come running. And come running he did.

"Kai, I am so game for a match!" Tyson shouted, running into the dojo, and looking around at the darkness in confusion. He could also hear high-pitched whimpering. "Kai?"

Tyson walked into the dark room, and was about to flick the light switch so the lights came on, when he was hit around the head by something large and wooden. Tyson fell to the floor, and Kai pounced on him like a cat on a mouse. Kai had found yet another length of rope, which he used to bind Tyson's hands behind his back, and then yanked his leg backwards, so he could tie his ankles to his wrists. Tyson was still writhing around in pain, and was only vaguely aware that someone was tying him up.

Once Kai was satisfied that Tyson was adequately tied up, he turned the lights on, blinding everyone, including himself. Kai gave his eyes time to adjust, before dragging Tyson's completely bound body over to near Hilary, but not so near that they could reach out and touch each other.

"What the fuck are you doing, Kai?" Tyson asked, once the pain had subsided from his head, and he could see his captor's face.

"I'm going to murder you," Kai said calmly.

Tyson stared, then laughed.

"Ahaha, you're kidding right?!"

Kai stared at Tyson as he continued to laugh. Kai didn't reply, but let Tyson carry on his mad laughing. Instead, he made his way to Hilary and took out her gag.

"I demand that you untie me!" she shouted.

Kai stuffed the gag back in her mouth. He really couldn't be doing with anyone else shouting at him. He already had a headache from Makoto's shouting. Kai noticed that Tyson had gone quiet, so he turned to look at the bound bluenette.

"You're really not joking, are you?" Tyson asked quietly.

Kai shook his head, and went back to Hilary.

"Do you still _like_ me, Hilary? I'll make it worth your while if you do," Kai whispered into her ear.

She didn't answer through her gag, but just glared at Kai. He got on his knees in front of her, and ran his hand along her thigh.

"Get your freaky Russian hands off her!" Tyson shouted.

Kai ignored him, and continued stroking her thigh. He reached up and took her gag out again, and just as he was about to kiss her, she spat in his face. Kai calmly wiped the spit out of his eye and off his cheek, and stuffed the gag back into her mouth. He stood up and took the gun out of his back pocket, and aimed it at her. She started whimpering and shaking her head. Tyson was shouting at him, but Kai couldn't really hear anything he said. He was in murderer mode, and blocked out any other sounds around him.

"YAY! We're going to kill the bitch!" Roxy screamed, announcing her presence for the first time since Kai had arrived in Japan.

"You've been awfully quiet," Kai muttered to her. "What's Ronnie doing?"

"Probably shaving something into your ear hair. I don't know. Shoot her! I want to see blood!" Roxy squealed.

Kai smirked, and noticed that Tyson had stopped shouting, but was now pleading with him to spare Hilary's life. Fat chance. Hilary herself was crying her eyes out. Kai moved closer to Hilary, and pressed the gun to her forehead. She began shaking her head so much that the gun kept slipping away from it. It took only one of Kai's hands to grab her head and keep it place, and the other hand to pull the trigger, sending a single bullet into her brain, and splattering Kai with blood.

Tyson began shouting again, and Kai let Hilary's body fall limp. Roxy and jumping for joy and cheering. She was a sadistic little bitch at the best of times. Tyson's shouts were getting louder, and Kai saw that he was crying. Kai narrowed his eyes, and pulled the trigger of his gun again, sending a bullet into Tyson's groin, and making him scream with pain.

"Shut your face," Kai snarled, bending down, grabbing Tyson's hair and pulling his head back.

"W-what the f-fuck is wrong w-with y-you?" Tyson stuttered in pain.

"Nothing's wrong with me…" Kai replied. "I'm just extremely fucked off. You always beat me. _Always_. Even when it was me who had the upper hand in 'Blading, you always seemed to find a way to beat me. You won my titles, you stole my chances to shine. That isn't so easy to forgive, and that's why I'm going to kill you."

Tyson was about to reply, when Kai pressed the gun to Tyson's throat, pointing it up towards his head. Tyson's eyes went wide, and Kai smirked as he pulled the trigger for a third time. Blood shot down Kai's hand and arm, and brains exploded from the top of Tyson's head.

Satisfied with his work, Kai felt it was time to return home, and leave Japan.

* * *

A/N: I have just re-read through this chapter, and I realise where it says "he slipped the cloth off his gun" in the very first sentence sounds rather rude… Lmfao. I'm really having a giggle at it XD

I'm also giggling at the "get your freaky Russian hands off her" line, too. It really made me crack up. It's something I'd imagine someone saying to Boris. But as he's dead, that'd be a bit hard…

Ronnie and Roxy didn't appear last chapter, so I thought I'd put Roxy in this one. She wasn't supposed to be in here, but I figured that if I put her in, I'd come up with a good title for this chapter XD Don't worry, there'll be lots of Ronnie and Roxy next chapter.

Hope you enjoyed :)


	7. Planning One Last Kill

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: This is the last time a very decomposed Voltaire appears, and Kai, Roxy and Ronnie plot to kill… Someone.

- A/N: Wow, just two more chapters to go after this one :O This chapter's a bit of a filler again, but it's kind of necessary, like all of my other filler chapters XD Enjoy!

* * *

**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Seven: Planning One Last Kill**

"Kai, can you _please_ close that closet door. He really stinks."

"My Grandfather deserves to watch TV as much as anyone else in this flat, Ronnie."

"'Watch TV'? He doesn't even have eyes, anymore! Look, they're on the fucking floor!"

"Will you stop moaning, Ronnie. You're doing my head in."

"Hey, Kai, Ronnie, do you think if we fed Voltaire cereal, that it would just fall through that hole by his stomach there?"

"I don't know or care, and I'm not trying it. It'd a be a waste of my cereal."

Kai shovelled another spoonful of his cornflakes into his mouth, and Roxy pouted. She really wanted to see if anything would fall out of that hole if Kai fed Voltaire. She turned her attention to the TV, which both Ronnie and Kai were watching, though, Ronnie was more distracted because of the stench of Voltaire.

The TV was showing the news, and on the news were pictures of Tyson and Hilary Granger's dojo. Grandpa Granger had apparently returned home after finding little Makoto at Max's house, and had walked into the dojo with Makoto in his arms to see Tyson and Hilary both lay on the floor in a pool of blood, both quite dead.

Kai chuckled evilly over his cereal at the fuss that everyone was making of it. It was a bit of a shame that Makoto had seen his parents' dead bodies… But Kai couldn't really care less. The brat was Tyson's brat, and therefore had Tyson in him. And that meant that Kai didn't exactly like him.

"You know they'll realise it was you?" Ronnie said seriously.

"Of course," Kai shrugged. "It's obvious it was me. I turn up out of the blue, scare the kid off, send the old man to find him, kill Tyson and Hilary, and when the old man comes back with the kid, his grandson and granddaughter-in-law are dead and I've fucked off. If they don't realise it was me, then they really are thick."

"What are you going to do?" Roxy asked sadly.

"I'll probably have time for one or two more kills before I get caught by the police," Kai replied, putting his empty bowl on the floor.

"I think we should kill another friend," Ronnie suggested.

"I don't really have any friends left," Kai laughed. "I really won't have a single one if I keep killing them."

"You have loads of friends!" Roxy said. "Ray, Max, Tala, Bryan, Spencer, Brooklyn-"

"Stop right there," Kai scowled. "Brooklyn has never been and will never be a friend of mine."

Roxy grinned, knowing that she had hit a nerve.

"Who would be easy to get to out of that list?" Ronnie asked.

"Maybe Ray…" Kai said. "But I like Ray… Hmm, maybe Bryan or Spencer, then."

"Do you even know where they are?" Roxy asked.

"Not really, but it shouldn't be too hard to find them."

"If you hadn't noticed Kai, you don't really have time to track them down, because everyone is looking for you right now," Ronnie said.

"True…" Kai said thoughtfully.

"Tala lives somewhere around here, doesn't he?" Roxy asked.

Kai nodded and thought for a moment. Tala probably would be the easiest person to get to for his last kill before getting caught by the police, but Tala was possibly the only person who could talk him out of killing…

"Tala it is," Kai sighed.

He got up, and shut the closet door. He dumped his bowl in the sink, and went to turn the TV off. For some bizarre reason unknown to him, he was quite nervous about going to kill Tala. Shrugging it off, Kai pulled on a coat, and left his flat for what would be the last time.

* * *

A/N: Like I said… Filler chapter. It was really short, too, but I couldn't really drag it out any longer, and nor could I skip this entire scene, and have Kai just turning up at Tala's flat.

Or… I could've done… But I've written this now, so it's staying XD

How did Kai get back to Russia so quickly? This is actually a few days after he had killed Tyson and Hilary, but the news has only just reached Russia, because… They're about a week behind everyone else XD I don't know… Lol.

Oh, I know I said Grandpa Granger and Makoto wouldn't feature again in this story, and they're not going to. But they were mentioned in this chapter. That wasn't something I had foreseen…

Two more chapters to go!!


	8. Tala’s Sexual Powers Of Persuasion

- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: It's what you've all been waiting for. MANLOVE LEMON! WOO! -Parties-

- A/N: Do you remember the willy wanging? When Kai threw Voltaire's penis? That crops up in a conversation in this chapter XD Enjoy!

* * *

**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Eight: Tala's Sexual Powers Of Persuasion**

Kai hesitantly walked up the stairs, to the top floor of the apartment building. He walked along the outdoor corridor, past all the front doors, nearly tripping over someone's stupid flowery vase, and stopped in front of flat number 18. Tala's flat. Kai nervously lifted his fist, and rapped on the door with his knuckles.

"Coming!" a rushed voice shouted from inside the flat. Tala's rushed voice.

Kai thought to himself as he could hear locks being, er, unlocked from the inside, and chains being, er, unchained. How was he supposed to kill Tala? He couldn't just walk in and say, "how do you do, Tala? I've just come to murder you before the police catch me." It wouldn't go down well.

Kai didn't have much more time to think, as Tala finally opened the door with a big grin on his face.

"Hellooooooo!" he said cheerily.

Kai brought his fist up, and it made contact with Tala's cheek, knocking Tala down and backwards into his flat. Kai stepped over the threshold, and shut the door behind him, locking a few of the locks afterwards. He looked down to see Tala staring up at him, holding his cheek.

"Do you MIND?!" he yelled at Kai. "This happens to be MY flat. You can't just punch me and then walk in like you own the God damn place!"

"I can, and I did," Kai replied, walking further into the little flat, and sitting down on a sofa.

"Make yourself at home, why don't you?" Tala scowled, as he got up and followed Kai.

Tala also sat on the sofa, and held up a piece of paper to Kai's face. Kai looked at, and raised his eyebrows.

"You have a 'WANTED' poster of me," he commented. "Why?"

"Because I liked the picture," Tala shrugged. "Would you like to explain how you got here without getting wrestled to the ground like an alligator, and why people think you killed the Grangers?"

Kai raised his eyebrows further.

"Because I wore a hoodie. And people think I killed the Grangers, because I DID kill the Grangers."

Tala's mouth opened into a perfect 'O' shape. Then, without warning, he hugged Kai.

"YOU KILLED TYSON?! THAT'S FANTASTIC!"

Kai had lowered his eyebrows, but they were again nearly disappearing into his hair.

"I've killed more people than Tyson. I killed my Grandfather - he's currently hanging around in my closet at home, he smells a bit now, though -, I killed Boris after shoving a bar up his arse, and set fire to him, I killed Tyson and Hilary, of course… And a fair few randomers."

Tala stared.

"You've turned into a right mass murderer."

"I know."

"Oh my God! I was walking past your flat the other week, and this shrivelled penis hit me on the head! Was that you?!"

Kai laughed evilly. So evilly, it scared even himself.

"Yeah, that was me. It was my dear Grandfather's cock I threw at you. It's all right, I cut Boris' cock off, and shoved it down his throat so he couldn't breathe. That's how I killed him."

"I think I might be sick," Tala mumbled, looking a little green.

"Got some coffee?" Kai asked, looking towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, but you can get it yourself, since you're acting like you own the place," Tala replied, frowning.

"I will," Kai said, getting up and going into the kitchen.

Kai was looking around the tiny room for something to kill Tala with. Tala didn't seem to own anything that would do much harm. God knows what he would do if someone came to try and murder him. Oh, wait…

Kai opened a drawer, and saw a pointy-ish-looking knife that was sure to do some damage if used right. Kai picked it up, and went back into the lounge, where Tala was still sat on the sofa, looking at Kai's 'WANTED' poster.

"The real thing is much better-looking, y'know," Kai said.

Tala looked around, and saw the knife in Kai's hand. He quickly stood up, and went to the opposite side of the room.

"What are you doing with that?" Tala asked nervously.

"Holding it," Kai shrugged. "Come on, Tala. Do you honestly think I came here to chat?"

"I thought it was a bit odd," Tala admitted.

Kai advanced on Tala, with the knife raised. Tala shuffled from side to side, trying to find a way past Kai and to hide somewhere. Kai carried on moving towards Tala, and once he was about a metre or so away, he raised the knife higher, ready to bring it down in Tala's chest.

"STOP!" Tala yelled, holding his hands out. "Why the Hell are you doing this Kai?"

"Doing what?" Kai said, narrowing his eyes.

"Going around killing people!"

Kai lowered the knife about an inch, and thought to himself.

"I don't know… Because _they_ tell me to."

"Who's '_they_'?" Tala asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Roxy and Ronnie. They live behind my ears," Kai replied, pointing to them.

"You're a schizophrenic?"

"You could say that."

Tala stepped towards Kai a little, still holding his hands out.

"Do you honestly want to kill people?"

"Of course I don't… But they tell me to, so I do…" Kai mumbled, his head drooping, and the hand holding the knife falling.

Tala moved right towards Kai, and took the knife out of his hand. He threw it back into the kitchen, and wrapped his arms around Kai. Kai looked up, with great, big puppy eyes. Tears were streaming down his face, and Tala thought he looked… _Pathetic_.

"Are you going to stop killing people now?" Tala asked, as if he asked people that every day, and pulling Kai close to him.

Kai nodded, wiping snot all over Tala's shirt. He smiled, and had the satisfaction of knowing that if he didn't kill Tala, he had at least wiped his nose on him. Kai's arms wound round Tala's waist, and his hands rested on Tala's bum, where he gave it a little squeeze. Tala jumped a little and looked down at the snivelling murderer he was holding.

"You just squeezed my ass!"

"Yeah, and?" Kai shrugged.

Tala raised an eyebrow.

"You know… I do actually want something in return for not killing you," Kai said.

Tala thought hard to himself for a moment, and a brainwave hit him. He moved back from Kai, making Kai's arms drop to his own side. Then, very slowly, Tala took off his jacket, and shirt. Kai stared as Tala did so, not too sure whether to believe what Tala was suggesting or not.

Kai's eyes roamed Tala's body as Tala got closer again. The hairs on the back of Kai's neck stood up as Tala whispered into his ear to take his shoes and socks off, which he promptly did. Once they were off, Kai straightened back up, and Tala pressed his mouth against Kai's. Tala took Kai's hoodie off, breaking apart to do so. He then turned and led Kai by the hand into his little bedroom.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Tala pounced on his prey, tearing Kai's shirt off. Next to come off were Kai's trousers, leaving him rather vulnerable in just his boxers. Tala ran his tongue up Kai's chest, having pushed him onto the bed, and his hand slid into Kai's boxers. As Tala's tongue was working on Kai's nipples, his hand was working on Kai's erection. Pleasure more intense than killing someone was running through Kai's body, and he wondered why he didn't just find himself a fuck buddy instead of murdering people. It would've been so much easier.

Tala soon got bored of pleasuring Kai, and the time came when he just needed to fuck. He yanked off his own trousers and his boxers, and pulled Kai up to sit in front of him. Kai slowly slid his mouth over Tala's erection, coating it in saliva. Tala thought that it was enough, and pushed Kai back down on the bed. He knew that you needed to use force with people like Kai, and he was certainly going to use force. Tala ripped Kai's boxers off, and sat on the bed in between Kai's legs.

Tala would've asked Kai if he was ready, or would have told him that it might hurt. But, considering Kai was a mass murderer, Tala thought that he wouldn't be bothered, so Tala pushed straight in until he was balls deep. Kai's back arched when Tala had entered him, and he had let out a gasp. It had hurt, but Kai thought back to when he shoved that bar up Boris' arse, and he started laughing. Kai's laughing unnerved Tala, but he started thrusting in and out anyway.

Kai laughed his way throughout the duration of Tala fucking him, even when he had his orgasm. He only stopped when Tala stopped moving, having also had his orgasm. Tala rolled over and out of Kai, and lay next to him. Tala looked at Kai, who was panting slightly, even though all he had done was lie there and laugh.

"You OK?" Tala asked nervously.

"Never better," Kai replied.

"Want to sleep?"

"Yup."

"Before you drift off, then… Promise me something."

"What's that?"

"Promise you'll turn yourself into the police tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Because I want to eat one last meal with you tonight, and then maybe fuck again before you get put in jail."

Kai laughed, and wound his arms round Tala's waist again before answering tiredly.

"I promise."

* * *

A/N: Something you don't read, write or say every day:

"Oh my God! I was walking past your flat the other week, and this shrivelled penis hit me on the head!"

LOL.

I make me laugh XD Is that a bit sad?

I can't write lemons anymore. It kills me, because I start giggling, and then it ends up crap, and then ends up crappier because I get writer's block halfway through. Then, when I'm finally back to writing it, I feel that no one will like it, and so I want to edit it out of the chapter… But I have left it in XD

I have a new addiction. It's worse than drugs. Seriously.

Milkybar White Moments.

Chocolate. White chocolate. In a crispy shell. A bit like Minstrels. But white chocolate. Heaven.

Anyhoo… One more chapter to go… Just one more…


	9. Promises

- A/N: Eh, no warnings for this chapter, lol. This chapter is just like… The end. LOL. Ronnie and Roxy appear again in this chapter, too. Well, they have to, don't they?

This chapter may well be short, so I apologise for that, but there's nothing I can really do… I'm not adding loads of pointless shit in. Because that would be rather… Pointless. Lol.

Enjoy!

* * *

**They Live Behind My Ears**

**Chapter Nine: Promises**

Kai smiled when the morning sun shone on his face through the window. He cuddled into the person next to him, who smelled strongly of sex. But then, so did Kai. Kai winced as he rolled over onto his back. He and Tala had had sex more times than he could actually remember.

Kai smiled again as he looked to his side at Tala. The redhead still sound asleep, drooling slightly. He unconsciously brought a hand up to his chest, and scratched before it fell limp again. Kai chuckled as he cuddled back into Tala, and sighed contentedly.

As Kai lay thinking, a blob of drool landed on Kai's forehead from Tala's mouth. Kai scowled. It wasn't the drool that had made him scowl, it was what Tala had made him promise the day before. He was rather hoping to have a fun chase from the police, but now that Tala had made him promise to hand himself in, he wasn't going to get that chase.

Getting up and wiping the drool from his forehead, Kai tottered off to the kitchen. As he entered the kitchen, he spotted the knife on the side. Tala had obviously picked it up when making food last night. Kai thought how easy it would be to just pick that knife up again, and walk into the bedroom where Tala was blissfully unaware of anything going on…

But something stopped Kai just as he was reaching out for that slightly pointy knife. He scowled to himself again, and instead grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal. Kai bent over to look in the miniscule fridge, when he felt someone come up behind him, and press their ding-dong against his backside.

"That's a really nice view you're giving me, Kai," Tala said, grinning.

Kai also grinned, and grabbed his milk before standing back up and turning to face Tala.

"I'd forgotten I was naked," he admitted, stepping towards Tala, and wrapping his arms around Tala's neck.

Tala smirked and shook his head. He gave Kai a quick kiss before going back into his room. Kai turned back to the cereal, and poured some of it into his bowl, followed by the milk. As Kai was sitting down at the table, Tala came back in, wearing some trousers.

"Excuse me, you are sitting on _my_ kitchen chair, completely naked. Can't you put some underwear on or something?" Tala asked, crossing his arms.

"No," Kai replied bluntly, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. It was all he seemed to eat, these days.

Tala watched as Kai finished his breakfast, and then they sat there, staring at each other. Tala got up and went into the lounge, bringing the phone with him when he went back to the kitchen. Kai raised his eyebrows when Tala put the phone on the table in front of him.

"Eager to get rid of me?"

"No… I just don't want you to go back on your word."

"I made a promise, didn't I? Can I go and put some clothes on first? Or do you want to watch me call the cops butt-naked?"

"Oh, I want to see you call them naked," Tala said, smirking.

Kai smirked back, and picked up the phone. He dialled the number for the police, and Tala laughed, not thinking that Kai would actually call them whilst being completely naked. After a short phone call, Kai put the phone down, and stared at Tala.

"You realise they might accuse you of hiding me here?"

"Nah, we'll just say that you turned up this morning," Tala shrugged. "You might want to put some clothes on before they get here, though, or they might wonder why you took all your clothes off as soon as you got here."

Kai laughed, but got up and walked into Tala's bedroom to get dressed, anyway. Five minutes later, and Kai was fully dressed again. Tala had thrown on a shirt to make it look more convincing that Kai had only turned up that morning, and within another five minutes, there was a knock at the door, and a shout of 'police!'.

"They didn't waste any time," Tala commented, raising his eyebrows.

"Hello? I'm a mass murderer," Kai replied.

Tala turned to go and open the door, but Kai grabbed his wrist. Tala looked at Kai in confusion, but understood when Kai wrapped his arms around Tala again, just wanting one last hug. Once they'd had their hug, Tala opened the door, and the police burst in.

Kai was very compliant with them, and did everything they asked. As he was forced into the car, Kai was very aware that locals were out watching him being taken away. His eyes were drawn to Tala, though, who had his arms folded, and looked really sad. As the car with Kai in drove away, Kai stared at Tala, who gave a little wave.

"I know you're thinking something evil, Kai," Ronnie said.

"Yeah…" Kai mumbled back.

"What are you thinking?" Roxy asked.

"He made me promise to hand myself into the police. Now that I have, I promise that the next time I see him, I will kill him dead."

Roxy squealed with delight, and Ronnie cheered. Kai smirked, and as the car turned a corner, Tala was out of sight.

* * *

A/N: "I will kill him dead".

Well, you're not going to kill him ALIVE, are you?!

Sorry, I was wondering why I wrote that line, then I thought it sounded quite funny, so I left it XD

This chapter was shorter than planned :(

But anyway, onwards with the next story!!


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